Sleeping with others is a deep intimacy. Sleep alongside the resting body of a partner, child, friend, or animal companion is deeply vulnerable, too. In our sleep, we are unguarded, unmasked, undefended. In sleep, our selves next to each other become simply bodies. Perhaps they fit perfectly together, or uncomfortably accompany one another, but, in sleep, our words and ideas and ways drop and we become only bodies breathing together.
Much of my work centers on supporting people in remembering that they have a place in this world, and that there are beings everywhere that care for them very much. I often use words like ‘connection’ and ‘relationship’ to describe this work. These words are right, and also, so much of what we’re doing, really, is remembering our intimacy with all things.1
One of the ways that the trees have folded me back into the family is by teaching me to rest with them. Many times, when I go to spend some time in the forest, I go with an agenda: I’ll meditate; listen to the beings there; pull tarot cards and ask them to explain my life to me; become fully grounded and regulated; plan out my life for the next several months, years, decades; and so on. (Going to the forest with an agenda is silly, I know. Being a Capricorn has its blessings and curses).
Many times, instead of getting through my agenda, I just get - tired. My life is busy, all the time. When I settle into a quiet space, for even a little while, my body just wants to rest, regardless of what my mind thinks I should be doing. The trees have taught me: this is okay. I find a (more or less) comfortable spot (nestled into some roots is nice), where I feel some protection and safety2, pull up my hood or pull my hat down, wrap my coat around me if needed, and just - rest.
In this rest, some unquantifiable, ineffable intimacy grows. When I open my eyes again, there is ease, and a sweet magic tendrils its soft roots through me. For just a little while, I’ve dropped out of all my typical tendencies, my worries and insecurities. For this little while, I’ve let myself be held, literally, by something much bigger than me.
Putting my body against the earth is a tender intimacy unlike any other.
Like other practices I’ve found to be helpful, I offer this to others, in case it can be helpful for them too. Recently, I invited a group of other nature/land based practitioners to experience this way of resting with and relating to the land.
They settled into nooks and low spots in the meadow, and we got quiet. I offered just a little settling-in guidance, and then, silence.
While they rested, I kept watch. A pair of enormous birds (eagles I think) wheeled overhead. Far above, a small rainbow crossed the sky in a way I’ve never seen before - not arcing exactly, instead just a short ray of colors in a line, way up in the clouds. When I brought the group back together, I was moved to see their now-softer faces and gently sparkling eyes. We remembered together that our bodies need rest and quiet.
I know and believe this in my head. I’ve seen the incredible, revolutionary work of people like Tricia Hersey of the Nap Ministry. When I was deep in the kind of social work that required me to be with humans in crisis and trauma almost every day (and often into the night), I’d sometimes be desperate for a tiny bit of sleep, midway through my workday. On those days, when I had no choice but to close my eyes for a few minutes, I’d snatch a crumb of rest in my car or hiding under my desk, setting a timer for no more than 7 minutes. It helped, it was absolutely necessary, and it was never enough.
Once I left that kind of work, after a couple of decades immersed in it, I was utterly exhausted, in a way I couldn’t let myself feel before. In the early days after leaving the last agency I worked for, I’d have to nap at least once, often twice, every day. I could never keep my eyes open during meetings. My rest deficit was enormous after years of stress and overwhelm, in both my personal and professional lives.
It’s been a few years, and my systems are slowly resetting. There are many days I don’t absolutely have to nap now. There are nights that I sleep most of the way through. This is thanks to many factors, and the deep care I receive from the forest is one of the most important. It’s one of the sweetest.
I’ve been so grateful to learn, to come to fully know, that putting our bodies on the ground, in the right conditions, can be soothing and restorative (also cozy and fun).
The same day we rested with the land, several deer spent a lot of time very close to us. We were honored and thrilled (also a bit worried about their lack of fear of us humans. We hoped they have good discernment of safe and unsafe situations and people!).
This bit of deer magic also reminded us that delight and play, rest and awe are not extra, but are essential to life.
As we work together for a world that we can be proud to pass on to coming generations, I hope we can remember that intimacy is essential.
Care, rest, play and magic are essential. These are some of the most precious parts of our lives. They are worth our work.
Our work for this world to come may look like parenting, being a good friend, marching in the streets, running for local office, writing, teaching, nursing - there are a million ways to tend to ourselves and each other, and a million ways to be cared for. While you do this work (as every one of you do), may rest, play, and joy weave through it all. May this be so for all beings, everywhere.
Messages from the Web (tarot practices for listening in)
Here is a spread inspired by rest and delight as care practices:
Card 1 - What in me most needs rest right now?
Card 2 - What in me most needs surprise, awe, delight?
Card 3 - How may I best offer my care to the world?
Card 4 - What else should I know?
Share your cards by clicking the “Leave a comment” button below!
Offerings and events
Join me and the green growing ones this Saturday, May 17th at Leach Botanical Garden for Queer, Trans & Gender Expansive Forest Bathing. Registration closes soon!
Also May 17th: our next monthly Listening to the Land gathering at Oak Island
Antidotes and seeds
If you are in the Portland area, Brown Hope is offering a week of action called We Are the Bridge, including a rally May 24th honoring the uprisings of 2020 following the murder of George Floyd. Let this moment renew our commitment to racial justice.
Let’s celebrate that another scholar, Badar Khan Suri, will be released from unjust, unlawful ICE custody, while a judge in Montana has struck down a ban on healthcare for Trans youth.
Black Voters Matter has put together excellent information about Trump’s proposed suspension of habeas corpus. Please read to know what's at stake.
with love always, heather
When I think of practicing intimacy with all things, my mind and heart go to my beloved friend Carolyn Glass, may her memory be for a blessing. She taught me about being up close and intimate with life, with dying, and with death.
Hundred percent Team Bear
Beautiful. I am lucky to have the opportunity to rest at times, and this helps me know that it's not only okay, but nessecary 💙
So beautiful. Thank you.